The importance of rest for women

I want to talk about the importance of rest for women.

I saw a quote the other day that said “Exhausted women are easier to control. Rested women piss off the patriarchy.” And then it said: “Go and have a nap."

And this is so true!

It is well known that it’s easier to control people who are not rested and who are mentally, emotionally and physically tired and exhausted. 

You might have heard about different ways that cult leaders control the people that are members of the cult by exhausting them mentally, physically and emotionally, and this also happens in abusive relationships and narcissistic abuse.

I would like to suggest that this happens on a societal scale to women, although it’s not as targeted or intentional. 

We all know that women in general have less down time and less time to rest, especially women with children but not only.

And women make up the majority of people with exhaustion symptoms. 

There is a lot of research done and books written on how women bear most of the unpaid work, while often also having jobs. 

Not only that, women take on a lot more responsibilities at our workplaces that take up time and energy but are not always rewarded, and we are often expected to say yes to these extra tasks. There is actually a book about this called The No Club.

So to rest is a form of rebellion against all of this.

Women with a balanced nervous system are hard to control.

Women who have stopped fawning and people pleasing, who tend to their own needs and wellbeing first and foremost cannot be exploited easily. 

I want to be a part of a movement and culture of women who make resting and tending to ourselves, first and foremost, a priority. 

Lets aim to be women who say no without guilt, who disappoint peoples’ expectations of us without feeling bad. 

And if we give, we give from overflow and love, not obligation. 

This is your life and you are here to live it on your terms, no one else’s. 

So lets come back to resting. What do I even mean by resting?

There are different kinds of rest. 

Physical, emotional and mental rest are the main types.

Physical rest can be lying down or sitting, resting your body. Of course sleeping or taking a nap are some of the most deep forms of physical rest.

Mental and emotional rest can also look like taking a walk in nature, or exercising. Listening to calm music or a guided meditation. Meditating or reading something that makes us feel calm. Doing our favourite creative activity. Having a drink with girlfriends or taking a walk with a friend. The last form, which is social, is more of an emotional rest since we often process emotions by talking to friends about them. 

All of these can be a form of rest.

Of course by getting enough sleep and getting good sleep, that is one of the most deep forms of rest for both our minds and our bodies. 

Meditation is a deep form of rest for our minds and emotions and can release stress from our bodies. 

The key is that anything that makes you feel relaxed, more at ease and more like you have come back to yourself is what I am talking about here. 

It can look differently for different people. 

A good friend of mine sometimes says after stressful periods that: 

“I have to bring myself back home now.”

That’s what I want us to do, over and over and over, to bring ourselves back home to ourselves. To find a safe space within and with ourselves where we can rest our souls.

Because a woman who is at peace, who lets herself rest and who is relaxed and at ease, is someone who cannot be controlled.

Art by Frederic Leighton - Flaming June